Sweetheart, the only thing I teach is dance.

God bless the women of Kenya.

2009-04-30T23:12:00.002-04:00

Kenyan Sex Strike

NAIROBI, Kenya, April 30 (UPI) -- The Women's Development Organization says it is coordinating a sex strike by thousands of Kenyan women to resolve ongoing political turmoil.

Rukia Subow, chairwoman of the organization, said the planned weeklong strike could work as sex is an activity that spans social position, tribal affiliations and political parties, The Daily Telegraph (Britain) reported Wednesday.

"We have looked at all issues which can bring people to talk and we have seen that sex is the answer," Subow said. "It does not know tribe, it does not have a (political) party and it happens in the lowest households."

To intensify its strike, the group is set to seek the support of the wives of President Mwai Kibaki and Prime Minister Raila Odinga, the Telegraph said.

The British newspaper said the strike, which will also include the group paying prostitutes to not work, comes as Kenya has been mired in a political deadlock following a disputed election.

Ingenious. If women would close off their honeypots more often, the world would be a much better place.

Diva Yes, Hustla No

2009-04-06T21:35:00.001-04:00

Aww, fake gangsta Beyonce is so cute. If she came for my bags or that money, I'd ask her if we could be BFFs.

Family First

2009-03-07T21:58:00.000-05:00

http://www.cbc.ca/health/story/2009/03/06/gupta-surgeon-general.html

CNN medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta won't be the next surgeon general in the U.S., the neurosurgeon said Thursday.

Gupta, 39, works as a brain surgeon at Emory University Hospital in Atlanta and is an Emmy Award-winning journalist.

"My wife is imminent with our third child. You know, this job … takes us away from our children for so many years at once, and I sort of came to grips with the fact that I'd probably be away at least the first several years. … And I just didn't feel like I should do that now," Gupta said on CNN's Larry King Live program.

Movin' On Up

2009-02-12T09:07:00.003-05:00

My mom: "We got a Black president. We got Black pirates. Aren't we making history?"

Greatest. Quote. EVER.

Jay-Z kind of looks like...

2009-01-05T10:08:00.005-05:00

...um, "Easter Island," according to Amanda.

Baltimore, My Baltimore

2008-12-16T23:19:00.005-05:00

Baltimore is a place that you simultaneously love and hate. The yin and yang are in perfect balance. For every artsy bookstore, blossoming romance, or awesome festival, there's a drug bust, mysterious stench in the air, or That Guy who takes the the word "creepster" to a whole new level.

Yesterday I was out enjoying a fab evening in a revamped downtown when I got sidelined by a little car trouble. A young couple immediately rushed over, heeding their civic duty to stare, make a snarky comment, and walk away.

The yin and the yang. Perfect balance.

Cake Theory

2008-12-15T12:00:00.004-05:00

When you discover a fantastic, delicious piece of cake - perhaps the best cake you've ever had in your life - you don't say to yourself, "Boy, that is some fantastic cake right there. Let me sit it on the counter and never touch it." You don't say, "I'm not in a place where I can eat cake right now." You don't say, "Cake, you're just too delicious for me. Let me leave you for someone else." You eat the cake. You eat the cake, right? If you're smart, you eat it first chance you get.

If you're not smart, don't go whining when someone smarter and better-looking eats the cake and then the bakery closes.

Movie Cliches

2008-12-12T22:40:00.004-05:00

I just came across a movie cliche and I forgot it existed. It's called "We're in a Strip Club Although It Has Nothing to Do With the Plot." Why, man, why?

How to Talk to Girls

2008-12-10T15:53:00.006-05:00

I'm so sorry that the day has come where a 9-year-old boy knows more about the opposite sex than the average grown-up American male.

Lately I've been hearing a lot from and about men who just don't understand women. So here you go.

How to Talk to Girls

It's not rocket science, guys. Let this little boy school you. That's right - you're getting schooled by a 9-year-old boy.

Apparently, the English language is meh.

2008-11-26T14:31:00.003-05:00

Meh? Muffin top? Since when does every dimwitted thing that rolls out of a person's mouth belong in a dictionary?

I Love Carlos...

2008-10-14T23:23:00.005-04:00

... Santana, that is. Ladies, you can have your Prada and your Jimmy Choos and your Manolos or whatever. My man is awesome!

Carlos: Put down the guitar and make me some shoes.

My IMs on Sarah Palin at 4:07 AM

2008-09-30T09:20:00.002-04:00

me: ... and on a side note, i hate her hair and old lady glasses

me: she's attractive enough - just be attractive

me: it looks like somebody said to her, you can't be attractive cause nobody will take you seriously. so then she overdid the old dowdy lady thing.

Muffy and Baxter are getting married!!! And they need your numbers!!! Because Baxter's cell phone fell in the TOILET!!!!

2008-08-05T19:35:00.002-04:00

I'm confused as to why people create Facebook groups with titles like this.
Is it not simpler just to email people?

Oh wait... sending a private email to your friends about needing their phone numbers deprives people of the LOOK AT ME!!!!!!! factor.

Banjo Hero?

2008-07-31T12:59:00.001-04:00

It takes a brave man to play the banjo on the streets of DC.

The Upsell

2008-07-18T16:08:00.003-04:00

Ah, the upsell -- trying to get a customer to get more than what they actually need or want. It's usually forgotten (like a cheap diner where they bring you the check without asking you if you'd like dessert) or overdone (like that tacky 99 cent stuff at most store counters).

I like the guy at the Subway around the corner from where I work. He is a master of the upsell. I watch him do it all the time. He likes to get me to try random extras like hot chicken soup when 1) he knows I don't eat chicken and 2) it's 95 degrees outside. I almost never want what he's got going on. But I always appreciate the effort.

OK... I can talk about Tarkan now.

2008-07-15T12:55:00.003-04:00

I really do think it is wrong for one man to be that attractive. It just does not seem right. Oh, and then there's the video that made me jealous of an apple. That lucky freaking apple!!!

Today's discovery: tarkanphotos.blogspot.com

2008-07-14T15:06:00.004-04:00

Tarkan leaves me speechless. Shortest blog ever.

7/11 + 7-eleven = w00t

2008-07-11T11:11:00.003-04:00

In a Relationship

2008-07-10T11:17:00.003-04:00

It's so exciting to be in a new relationship, I know. You get butterflies in your stomach and animals start singing wherever you go. But please, Facebook users, do not use the "In a Relationship" option lightly. For some reason, announcing your relationship on Facebook is a Big Deal. (I am not going to get into whether I agree with that or not, I only tell you that it's so.) It also invites public commentary on your relationship status... especially if you take it off two weeks later and then three weeks later you are "In a Relationship" with someone else. So, just pretend that option really says, "We stopped kissing other people quite some time ago and we're about to exchange keys/meet each other's parents/talk about the M-word."

And don't even think about the engaged option, unless that joint is Fort Knox solid.

Twitter: An Egregious Abuse of the Internet

2008-07-09T12:50:00.003-04:00

I was directed to someone's Twitter page, and then I read about what a fabulous service Twitter provides for people.

From www.twitter.com:

Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co–workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?

Does anyone remember the time where friends and family would stay connected by talking to each other? E-mails and (remember these) phone calls and (wow, can you believe it) visits where people greet you by asking you things such as, "What are you doing?"

I'm that boy on George Lopez.

2008-06-24T21:41:00.001-04:00

I came across an episode of George Lopez where the little boy gets "married" to a girl at his school. Afterwards, though, he's not feeling it. He breaks up with her by telling her, "It's not me... it's you."

That kid gets an A+ in my book.

Courtesy Wash, or "It might be nice to meet you, but I won't shake your hand"

2008-06-24T10:13:00.019-04:00

From urbandictionary.com:

courtesy wash

The common practice of men, where after using a public restroom, instead of actually washing their hands, they simply slightly dampen them under the sink and then dry them on the pants or a paper towel. Thus giving the illusion that they did in fact wash their hands.

She ragged on you about washing your hands? Why didn't you do a courtesy wash?

Are you kidding me? There are people out there who will go so far as to put their hands in water and pretend to wash their hands, as opposed to actually washing them?

Wow.

I really do not understand the aversion to hygiene and common decency. If I spew over this finding (really, I just might) I will, of course, wash my hands afterwards.

Black people don't like it when you touch their hair.

2008-06-17T12:46:00.010-04:00

A White lady just put her hands in my hair. She's one of those people who is Never, Ever Wrong and then makes herself feel better by making you the Wrong One... then she'll pretend to be terribly offended in an attempt to make you feel bad for pointing out her double wrongness. I just didn't feel like going there with her today, so I didn't go off on her and tell her to get her grubby mitts off me (which was my first thought to do... and second... and third). To make up for that, I've decided to do a little public service announcement and post the Black Hair Etiquette Guide again. But before I share the words of the Angry Black Woman, let me just say this: I don't ever want anyone's hands in my hair... unless Anyone is a good-looking male who's about to rock my world.

From theangryblackwoman.wordpress.com:

The Angry Black Woman’s Guide to Hair Etiquette or Stop Touching My Hair, White People!

I’ve noticed that my hair post from a few weeks ago gets the most hits from Google. I’ll throw my keyword analysis up here sometime to show you the kind of messed up queries that lead people here. Many seem to be people looking for hair care options or just looking to understand certain things about black people and hair. I hope this post will be equally informative.

I first thought of making a post like this back when people mentioned on the blackfolk and sex & race communities that Barbara Walters had a hard time keeping her hands off black guests’ hair while on the air.

Best Week Ever blog brought it to our attention:

A couple of weeks ago R&B singer Brandy dropped by The View. Judging by the way Barbara Walters teased her and pawed at her hair, you’d think Barbara had never sat next to a black woman before. Well, not by choice, anyway.
I was willing to brush the hair pulling aside (no pun intended) and write it off as an isolated incident… but that was up until Tanika Ray came in today. Now I know it wasn’t a one-time thing. It’s an epidemic. And Barbara Walters must be stopped.

The original post has links to the video.

LJer implodes had a similar reaction to mine:

Oh my sweet BEJEEBUZZ! Look at how she just grabs at them like they’re damn show dogs or something! “Oooh…look at the unusual coat of these exotic Negresses right over here…”

LJer karnythia says straight out “My hair is not an exhibit“

In no reality would she walk up to a white woman, grab her hair and ask “Is this real?” with any expectation of a polite response. It simply would not occur to her to even attempt that behavior. But with black women? Apparently not only does she feel it’s okay for her to touch their hair, in the second situation she actually pulls hard on this woman’s hair.

You should also check out the letter she sent ABC.

This is, unfortunately, not an isolated incident. Ask any black person you know if some white person has asked to touch their hair, or if it was real, or went ahead and touched/pulled it without permission and I’ll bet all of them can regale you with a story or two (or a hundred).

As previously mentioned, I have hair that curls in coils. People just love to pull my curls and watch them spring back. Most times people ask permission. Most times. When I was young and had long hair (briefly) people would ask if I had a weave. Often, people ask me if my hair is natural (expecting me to say no) or just go right for the kill and ask what I do to my hair to make it look this way. 9 times out of 10 the other party is a white person.

I can’t count how many times I’ve silently cringed upon hearing some white woman go on and on about a friend’s dreds. How do they get like that? Is it true you can’t ever wash your hair? Can I touch it? It feels so weird!

White people feel they have some kind of right (or privilege) to paw at our hair. It’s like they can’t believe in it or something. A desire to learn more about people who aren’t like you is a fine pursuit. But most of the time I feel more like a fascinating exhibit than someone involved in a cultural exchange.

To further educate the masses, I’ve decided to write up this handy list:

The Angry Black Woman’s Guide to Hair Etiquette

1. It is never okay to touch, pull, or stroke a black person’s hair without permission. No matter how different, cool, or fun their hair looks, you just don’t.

2. It is never okay to ask a casual acquaintance or a perfect stranger if their hair is real. It doesn’t matter how curious you are or how incongruous their hair is to your expectations. Don’t do it.

3. Realize that, in asking if you can touch a black person’s hair, you are objectifying them in possibly uncomfortable ways. That person may consent to letting you touch their hair just to be nice, but rarely is it because they enjoy having your hands on them. The most polite thing would be not to ask until such time as you know that person well enough to know if they won’t mind the request. This is not the Petting Zoo.

4. Think before you make any comments expressing surprise that a person’s hair could look any certain way without a lot of help from chemicals, products, or professional stylists.

Print this, carry it around with you, tell others. I know I will. Because the next person who touches my hair without permission is going to come out of the encounter with several strands of their own missing (with root tags attached).

Love in This Club

2008-06-16T13:35:00.003-04:00

Everyone realizes how ridiculous this song is, right? I can't even hear the first notes of this song without cracking up laughing and/or shaking my head.

If you are getting down with someone in the back of the club, that is not called lovemaking. That is something else entirely. I believe the technical term for it is: freak nasty who needs to take his/her freak nasty behind on home.

I love technology...

2008-06-16T11:36:00.003-04:00

... probably a little too much. This morning I was more thrown off by leaving my cell phone at home than by forgetting to eat breakfast or pack a lunch.

GPS: Gee, ask a Person, Silly

2008-06-07T17:59:00.001-04:00

Sometimes, you just don't have the time to ask a person for directions to get somewhere. But when I have equal opportunity, I kick it old school - I ask someone. I know that in these days of GPS and Google Maps, asking a human being for directions is Just Plain Uncool. I don't care. Machines don't know the idiosyncrasies of the quirky places that I need to get around. When I get directions, I like to hear things like:

"Turn right at the burned-out McDonald's"
"You'll pass about eight miles of corn fields - no I do not live in the sticks! Then you're going to pass an outhouse..."
"K street turns into T Street which then turns into X Street... but then it becomes K Street after the overpass, but only between 9 am and 9 pm"
"Do not make any turns off that road - I don't care what Mapquest says!"

Or, hey, even: "I wouldn't go that way that time of night if I were you." These things mean more to me than "Turn left 400 feet." The places where I go, 400 feet could be a world of difference.

Mo Faux

2008-06-05T09:59:00.003-04:00

I would like to point out that "fauxhawks" are played out. I don't think many people out there have gotten the memo, so here it is.

Fauxhawks were kind of cool two years ago. Now, they are overdone and tired - especially considering that everyone accessorizes them EXACTLY the same way. Let me break this down for you:

Fauxhawk: tired and sad.
Fauxhawk + Johnny Knoxville rock star cop glasses: REALLY tired and sad.
Fauxhawk + rock star cop glasses + prepster/nerd clothes: Just put on a T-shirt that says "I'm uncreative and can't think of any other way to dress myself."

Carrie Bradshaw is a LOSER.

2008-06-05T09:25:00.004-04:00

I don't watch her show (with good reason). But I hear from my peeps that it involves a 10-year, on-and-off relationship with a dude that eventually leaves her without saying goodbye. And now they make a movie where she marries this dude?

Wow. Just when I thought Hollywood's lessons to women couldn't get any worse... here comes Carrie B., teaching us all that marrying a wishy-washy loser is better than no man at all.

Thanks a lot, Carrie!

Melissa

2008-04-29T23:21:00.007-04:00

The other day I had one of those days. People who were supposed to be encouraging and helpful instead were embarrasing, hurtful, and disappointing. It was more than one or two people... enough for me to have a little less faith in humanity at the end of the day.

I came home to a small package that arrived from the Netherlands. Inside the package was a journal, a book, and a note. More importantly, though, that package had encouragement, spiritual knowledge, and love. I couldn't believe the timing.

Everyone needs a Melissa.

I only watch 360 'cause AC is kind of hot.

2008-04-29T23:16:00.002-04:00

It's ok; I get my news elsewhere. 360 is just for the bonus.

But what's with his news hair?

Ladies: Bigger purses mean more crap.

2008-04-25T15:29:00.004-04:00

The amount of random crap that ends up in your purse is directly proportional to the size of the purse. When you have a big purse, it just invites trouble. You wind up with this Thing that is part makeup kit, part medicine cabinet, part bookbag/briefcase, part electronics store, and part trash can. When you have one of those little clutches, you have to bring just what is most important to you at the moment.

Ladies, I say this to you as a metaphor. Even when you carry a little purse, you sometimes wind up with crap in it. But I believe that we'll be better off when we make an effort to fend off the excess pounds of it.

Don't ask for dating advice... just go shopping. (Part 2)

2008-04-25T13:56:00.005-04:00

No one likes That Person who comes in to shop at the last minute.

No one likes That Person who has NO CLUE what he/she is looking for.

No one likes That Person who hogs onto everything because he/she wants to take sweet time deciding what to get (if anything). The stuff That Person is iffy about is stuff that other people are running around frantically trying to find.

No one likes That Person who tries to get something for nothing.

No one likes That Person who asks for things that don't exist.

No one likes That Person who goes on and on about how a different store has better stuff.

Most people like shopping because they think they are going to get a really sweet thing for a really great price. Nobody likes to be misled about the price or the quality of an item... or to be told, "You need to have this!" when they're better off without it.

Don't ask for dating advice... just go shopping.

2008-04-25T12:40:00.002-04:00

In retail, nobody likes That Person who comes in, asks a million questions, tries everything out, doesn't put anything back, turns the store into a dirty mess, and leaves empty-handed. It's one thing to try and not buy, but everyone knows That Person had no intention of buying anything when he/she came through the door.

In dating, nobody likes That Person either.

Profilin'

2008-04-17T14:18:00.004-04:00

Now that there's decently warm weather around, it is time for drivers everywhere to start profilin'. You know what I'm talking about... tops down, seats back, music pumpin', rims a-spinnin'. I don't mind. Actually, I find it to be amusing (minus the spinning rims... those are just creepy). But you can't be out there all willy-nilly. You have to have some sense about it.

If you're going to have the music blasting, you've got to have some good music on. Don't put on that Whitney Houston joint from 1986. In fact, NO POP MUSIC. No trancy electronic stuff. If you're from DC, but not in DC, NO GO-GO MUSIC. Nobody outside of DC knows what that's about, and they don't like it. If you ride a motorcycle, realize that there are only a handful of songs you can blast without getting laughed at.

Seriously, NO POP MUSIC. If there could be a Kidsongs version of your song, you need to turn it down.

There are some places where you just don't profile, 'cause it's wrong. Don't do it at the library. DO NOT cut your spinning rims on to put your books back in the book drop. No profiling at your child's school. No profiling anywhere when your kids are around. And do not profile at church! DO NOT come out of the church parking lot playing that bump 'n' grind, let's get freaky-deaky sex music. That is just rude and wrong.

Don't harass any pedestrians. It's not cool. Don't assume that because someone is walking, that they don't own a car and they should be in awe of anything that rolls down the street. Men, do not mack on the lady pedestrians. It's old, it's tired, and it's sad. Let me save you some time: She's not interested. How can you know this for yourself? Go find a happily married woman and ask her if she found the Man of Her Dreams honking the horn at her while she was trying to cross the street.

Lastly, no rap music before 10 a.m. If you are in the daily grind traffic with the rest of us, you are not gangsta.

Dreamgirls

2008-04-03T10:20:00.007-04:00

Do you know the story of the Reformed Player? You know the first part, I'm sure. But the end of the story goes something like this: Player realizes that running games on ladies is wrong (shocker). Player resolves not to play the ladies anymore. And as soon as player cleans up his act, he meets his dreamgirl. Playa-no-mo' + dreamgirl = happily ever after. The end.

Apparently, ladies are supposed to eat up the story of the Reformed Player like it's a free box of biscuits. People try to feed it to us all the time. Even Mr. "I'm trying to help you out" Greg Behrendt of "He's Just Not That Into You" fame tries to make you like him with this one. Amiira this, Amiira that. She's so great. I just want her. I don't wanna be a player no' more. Never met anyone like her. Blah blah blah.

My question is: How do you know that?

When you choose to play people, you don't take the time to know someone. You learn enough to get what you want out of them; then you bounce. You don't know who these ladies are, nor who they will end up becoming in life. Maybe one of those ladies was that sports freak you always wanted, or the lady who has her finances together, the one who wants to get it on six times a day, or the one who would have supported your career goals. You just don't know.

So, if you want to hang up your player jersey, and rejoin the Land of Morals, that is great. Really, it is great. But don't package it like it's a fairy tale for us ladies to live for.

You could have had your happy ending years ago.

Mr. Randolph

2008-03-27T10:13:00.006-04:00

I got a letter in the mail yesterday, informing me that my physical therapist passed away last month. It made me sad. I liked him a lot. I can say that even though he made me want to cry on a regular basis.

What I liked about him...

He kicked it old school.
He loved his daughter.
He wanted me to join a women's football team. He didn't care about the irony that a traumatic incident with a football was what brought me to him in the first place. It didn't matter. I should play football.
He wanted me to appreciate my youth. He would say things to me like, "I have shoes older than you!"
While I wanted to go hide under a pillow and cry, he had the big picture. If he didn't make me do what I needed to do, and let me quit whenever I said "Ow," I wouldn't have gotten any better.
He was encouraging. Whenever I would think that I wasn't going to get any better, he would say to me, "Just keep it movin'. You'll be all right." He was talking about my body, of course, but there's a bigger lesson in that.

There's a big lesson in all of it, really.

Thank you, Mr. Randolph, for teaching me more than PT.

The Lost Art of Wooing

2008-03-25T12:23:00.002-04:00

Someone recently asked me to comment on an article about players. I started to, but I kept thinking... there are a lot of things out there that inhibit happy relationships. Players are just one piece of the sad, sad puzzle. One thing that I think is really out there, but no one says anything about, is the lost art of wooing.

What does it mean to woo someone?
If you go to the dictionary, you will see that woo means:

- to sue for the affection of and usually marriage with
- to seek the favor, affection, or love of, esp. with a view to marriage
- to try to get the love of; seek as a spouse; court

Sue, seek, try. What do these words have in common? They are all action verbs. If you want to woo someone, you have to do something. This is why wooing is a lost art. Too many people want the fruits of wooing without doing anything.

Wooing someone involves taking a risk. Sorry, but that's just how it goes. The "safe" alternatives will keep you safely away from the object of your affection.

Consider the following non-wooing phenomena:

Dreaming: This is all that goes on here. The non-wooer dreams about the object of affection (OA), but that's it. I mean, NOTHING ELSE HAPPENS.

Pawing: To paw means to Passive-Aggressively Woo. This could be a number of things, but they're usually things that should have been kicked aside in high school. For example, letting the OA's peeps know that you're interested in the hopes that the information will trickle down.

Hang-gliding: This means hanging out. The non-wooer does things with the OA, but it's not anything fun or cool enough for the OA to suspect romantic interest.

Grouping: This is when the non-wooer will ask the OA to do things, but it's always in groups. Uneven groups. It certainly won't be a small, equal ratio of singles, because then the OA might suspect that it's a group date. Oh, no - can't have that. These non-wooers don't like anything that looks remotely like a date.

Gaming: The gaming non-wooer has read one too many trash magazine articles about playing hard-to-get. These non-wooers might see the OA out somewhere and coolly say, "Hey" when they really want to say, "You look great!" The gaming non-wooer has complex calculations regarding when to return a phone call and which words to use for each of their sentences.

Late Blooming: A late-blooming non-wooer will let an OA know there's an interest, but shamefully late in the game. Many times, it's "this isn't even an option" late. For example, confessing, "I had a thing for you all through high school" when the OA is married, has children, and lives in another country.

If these sound shamefully unproductive to you, congratulations! You, too, have recognized that wooing is an action. Think about it: all of the really good parts of life involve a risk. Applying for your dream job, moving away, traveling around the world... and so on. Love is no exception.

Bridget Jones's Diary

2008-03-25T09:07:00.001-04:00

I just watched "Bridget Jones's Diary" for the first time.

Disclaimer: I'm sure that this movie is ridiculously old. I just can't get into a movie if it has a lot of hype associated with it. If I do watch it, it's years later when nobody cares anymore.

It was an easy enough movie. A young, single woman goes through her young, single woman drama. A bunch of bad stuff happens, but it's happy endings for the young, single woman because now she has a young, single man that she can un-single herself with.

I just wasn't feeling it.

I think it's because Renee Zellweger does the worst British accent I've ever heard in my life.

My Favorite Men in Movies

2008-03-21T16:18:00.000-04:00

Veer Pratap Singh, "Veer-Zaara"
Veer, an Indian man, spends 22 years in a Pakistani prison protecting his lady's honor and doing what he thinks will bring her happiness. 22 years in prison? Oh, but wait. What does he dream about during those 22 years? Zaara. Why does he break his 22-year-old silence? Zaara. Who would he spend another 22 years in prison for if he had to? Zaara.
In a world where many people can't make a commitment for more than 22 minutes, the thought of Squadron Leader Veer Pratap Singh refreshes me.

Garth Algar, "Wayne's World"
Garth knows how to woo a woman. He knows how to do those funny, romantic things. He wants to serenade his Dream Woman. He puts his back into it.
It's true that almost anyone can do funny, romantic things. It's a lot less common to get the follow-up. You know, those things that come after page 1 in the Dating Handbook. Garth delivers because he is a Dating Handbook. He understands the ways of the woman. "Let me tell you something about women, Wayne. They want you to come get them. They love it." Did Cassandra want Wayne to come and get her? Yes she did. If you need a lesson on getting your Dream Woman, let Garth show you the way.

Orlando, "Diary of a Mad Black Woman"
First of all, he is sexy. Sexy! It's really hard to pay attention when he's talking... because you keep thinking, "That is one good-looking man!"
Orlando likes jazz. He makes a good and honest living. He is hip and cool. He keeps it real. He's down-to-earth. He doesn't have to take it all the way to sex as soon as an attraction develops. (Huh? Oh yeah, MOVIE.) Most importantly, though, he is ready to love his woman. He's learned from his mistakes. He doesn't take the pain from Lady A and use it to dog Lady B. He knows a good woman when he sees one, and knows not to be fool enough to let her go. Orlando's woman has some things to work out, yes she does, but he's understanding and he knows that's not all of who she is. He's not afraid to take a risk for his woman. "Helen, I love you. But I need you to trust me..." Are you kidding me? I can't handle that scene.

Eric Draven, "The Crow"
Eric Draven is a bad mother... shut your mouth! He's a Man in Black, he blows things up, he makes his own justice, and he shanks people who get in his way. But what is the reason for his journey back from the grave? LOVE. That's right -- love. The man's soul is not at rest until the love of his life is restored to him.

Guitar Hero

2008-03-21T10:13:00.000-04:00

Guitar Hero does his thing every Friday morning on the Red Line. When I am in daily grind mode and I see him, it makes me happy. I read a story about him in the Washington Post. He sings feel-good songs and tries to make the daily commute a little happier for people. He makes good money by singing on the street! He does not wear an ucky power suit and buzz cut. He wears jeans and has really long locks. Usually I just squeak by him with silent appreciation. Today I emptied my pockets into his PEACE THROUGH MUSIC tip jar.

He smiled at me and told me to "have a blessed day." He is a real guitar hero. If you see this man, please: empty your pockets. That smile is worth it.

Seasoned Ladies

2008-03-20T22:31:00.000-04:00

I have a lot of seasoned ladies that I look up to, real and fictional. Some examples...

Rhea: Real, yes, but unbelievable. She's another almost-70 dancer who looks amazing for her age. I took a workshop with her a few years ago. She wore a glittery tank top that said "bellydancer" on it, and tight pants. She was unapologetic about the fact that she was dressed like a 20-year-old. Rhea says: "With advances in modern medicine, we could live to be 100 or more. Why spend most of it being old?" The woman is right. I haven't thought about aging in the same way since.

Blanche Devereaux: Loves a good-looking man and isn't afraid to admit it.

Madea: Just watch "Diary of a Mad Black Woman." I could elaborate, but no. Just watch the movie.

My favorite seasoned lady, though, is my mom. I could sit and think of a million good things to say about her, then turn around and think of a million more. Most recently I was thinking about her personality says to the world, "I'd love to be kind to you, but I will lay a smackdown if I have to."

I see my future, and it is good.

Morocco

2008-03-20T20:34:00.000-04:00

Last summer, I spent a week in Manhattan studying Middle Eastern dance with Morocco. It changed the way I think about the dance. I no longer like the term "belly dance" and prefer not to use it. I work on feeling the music because "anyone can do the movements." Movement without feeling does not a dancer make. I think about lines, shapes, presence, layers, and a zillion other things. Long story short: what Morocco teaches is not an approach to the dance - it is the dance.

Morocco is what I want to be when I get older. She's amazingly beautiful; she's almost 70 and looks about half her age. She's open, she knows her stuff, and she is absolutely hysterical. On the last day of class we had Q&A and she let us ask her anything we wanted. Somehow she started talking about dating and she said, "Some people ask me if I would consider dating a younger man. I tell them, 'Sweetheart, the only thing I teach is dance.'"

It's not just a quote for me; it's a way of life.